I often reference my favourite pastime, beyond writing, as it provides me with invaluable moments of clarity – Gardening. Today, I’m digging into the art of literary pruning. Picture this as your trusty editing machete, hacking away at the overgrown jungle of unnecessary verbiage. Grab your editing knife, and let’s slash our way through the jungle of superfluous words. Let’s Marie Kondo your manuscript and say good-bye to the unnecessary excess, pruning prose like a skilled gardener tending to a vibrant garden.
Think of it like this: you’ve created a magnificent story. It is meticulously refined for the nth time. All the final touches are added to create a polished manuscript. But wait! Pause for a moment. Before you assign the “final draft” moniker, take another pass through your manuscript. This time, use a keen eye for weedy words that may be cluttering your story. By allowing these unnecessary elements to linger is like attaching a flashing “Amateur Writing” label to your work.
Fortunately, eliminating weedy words and sentences is relatively straightforward. Learn to recognize them first; then, feel confident in deleting them.
Here are some tips to help elevate your writing game and for editors to see your book at its best.
WEAK MODIFIERS:
Editors can easily spot the difference between a pro and a novice writer. The latter will often resort to weak modifiers, attempting to enhance the meaning of a word or phrase by reinforcing it with a modifier. Like a worn-out fence post, these feeble modifiers not only fail to support but also cause the entire phrase to collapse.
Example
She gave them a very piercing glance.
CHANGE TO: She gave them a piercing glance.
I bit into a banana peel, and it was really bitter.
CHANGE TO: I bit into a banana peel, and it was bitter.
By deleting the modifiers, the impact of these statements significantly increases.
In pursuit of a natural, colloquial tone, novice writers may inadvertently produce wordy sentences. Consider the following paragraph, which gains clarity when the boldface words are omitted. Some are modifiers, others are verbs.
Version 1
Johnny, it was like a perpetual thing with him, always seemed as if he were on the verge of tripping over his own feet. Despite the fact that his feet weren’t particularly imposing in size, he had this uncanny knack, almost like he was intentionally aiming to step on his own toes. Even when he made a conscious effort to keep an eye to watch his step, he’d inevitably find distractions like the allure of captivating clouds in the sky, or birds nestled in trees, or it was the cracks in the ceiling indoors that would draw his attention, and bam! Down he’d go, resulting in yet another instance of a scraped knee or a bitten lip.
Version 2
Johnny always seemed on the verge of tripping over his own feet. Despite their modest size, he had this knack for stepping on his own toes, almost like it was intentional. Even when he tried to watch his step, distractions like cloud shapes or birds in trees, or the cracks on the ceiling indoors drew his attention. Then bam! Down he’d go. Another scraped knee or bitten lip ensued.
Unnecessary Modifiers to Cut
An unedited manuscript laden with unnecessary modifiers is daunting for an editor. The most effective sentences are those in which every word pulls its own weight. By conscientiously eliminating these modifiers, your writing will become more concise, impactful, and professional.
These modifiers are rarely missed when removed:
- just
- really
- definitely
- so
- even
- exactly
- such
- at all
- anyway
- very
- certainly
- some
- SUPERFLUOUS STARTERS
Sentences that begin with unneeded words are off to a weak start. You’ll make a stronger impression by being direct in what you have to say.
For example:
At the top of the hill, there was a cozy little cottage, and Jack often spent his weekends reading books and relaxing.
Jack often spent his weekends reading books and relaxing at the cozy little cottage on top of the hill.
During the summer, there was a lively street fair, and Emily loved to explore the various food stalls and participate in the festivities.
Emily loved to explore the various food stalls and participate in the festivities during the lively summer street fair.
Under the twinkling stars, there was a serene lake, and Amy often went there to reflect on her thoughts.
Amy often went to reflect on her thoughts under the twinkling stars at the serene lake.
- HEDGING WORDS
Hedging words are used to soften a statement. However, they convey a sense that the writer lacks confidence in allowing the statement to stand on its own. The use of hedging can diminish the impact of a dramatic observation, rendering it bland, or reduce the impact of a striking comparison, making it appear wishy-washy. The removal of boldface words enhances the strength of this paragraph.
For example:
The landscape was breathtaking, featuring a kind of majestic beauty with rolling hills that were somewhat covered in a patchwork of vibrant wildflowers. The sky overhead was rather clear, displaying a gentle blue hue, and the sunlight streaming through the clouds was kind of casting a warm glow on the scenery.
Hedging words like these should be used only with great caution:
- usually
- perhaps
- a little
- probably
- sort of
- look
- maybe
- kind of
- seem
- rather
- somewhat
- almost
- fairly
- quite
- slightly
- TIME AND SEQUENCE WORDS
Sometimes it’s really important for readers to know exactly when something happened—like in the year 1862, at nine o’clock last night, or on June 21. However, in many cases, the primary emphasis is on the substance of the events unfolding. Once a time-based reference is introduced early in a narrative or article, additional mentions of time may become superfluous. It’s like setting the stage initially, and then we can dive into the exciting stuff without getting bogged down in the clock-watching.
For example:
The chef began by chopping the onions. Afterward, he stirred the pot with a wooden spoon for a moment, contemplating the flavors. Then, he took a step back, allowing the mixture to simmer. After a while, he decided to check the seasoning, tasting it with a thoughtful expression. Finally, he added a pinch of salt and stirred again before serving the dish.
In this example, the sequence of actions and the passage of time are somewhat evident in the cooking process. The use of time references like “afterward,” “for a moment,” “after a while,” and “finally” adds some unnecessary details, as the assumed chronological order of cooking steps is generally understood by the reader. Removing these vague time references can make the description more concise and direct.
Read the paragraph without the boldfaced words and compare the effect.
- OVERWRITING
Writers, inherently drawn to language, revel in wordplay, imaginative figures of speech, rare vocabulary, and unique combinations. At times, their enthusiasm for creativity can lead to prose that is overly decorated flowery fluff. The reader may find themselves inundated with elaborate language, making it challenging for the mind to readily understand the intended meaning of the passage.
Here’s an example of “purple prose,” followed by a plainer version. Notice that some of the figurative language has been retained, resulting in a paragraph that is both fresh and clear.
In the moonlit garden, she danced with an elegance reminiscent of whispers through ancient willows, the verdant ground beneath her steps undulating in homage to the celestial glow. Her countenance, bathed in pale beams, revealed a complex tapestry of emotions, each uttered word carrying the weight of a thousand sonnets in an opulent dance of linguistic extravagance.
In the moonlit garden, she danced with elegance. The verdant ground beneath her steps undulated. Her face revealed a complex tapestry of emotions, each word carrying weight in a dance of expression.
- CUTTING TO SHORTEN
Until now, we’ve focused on enhancing your writing by removing unnecessary words. These same techniques can prove beneficial when dealing with an excessively lengthy manuscript that requires trimming. Despite the initial intention of shortening for a different reason, you might discover that the edits made not only meet the length requirement but also enhance the overall quality of the work unexpectedly.
Shortening sentences without compromising meaning can be achieved through various methods. Clauses can be condensed into phrases or single words. Modifying phrases can often be simplified into adjectives or adverbs. Additionally, combining two sentences into one with a compound subject or verb is an effective way to streamline your writing.
Here are some examples of shortening. Notice the wordy first sentence of each pair and the clear and direct shorter sentence that follows.
In the event that there is a need for assistance, please do not hesitate to contact the appropriate department.
If you need help, contact the relevant department.
It is my personal opinion that the new policy, which has been recently implemented, is not conducive to fostering a positive work environment.
I think the new policy doesn’t create a positive work environment.
There is a requirement for the utilization of additional resources in order to complete the project in a timely fashion.
We need more resources to finish the project on time.
That’s all the chopping I’ll do for now. I hope you learned from this lengthy weed cutting to take charge of your editing. Remember, none of the guidelines mentioned here are set in stone. Using modifiers thoughtfully can add subtle meanings, and sometimes, a carefully chosen hedging word is necessary.
There’s no exact science to tell you when your writing is too wordy, but you can improve by reading great writers and learning to trim unnecessary words in each sentence.
When you review your writing’s semi-final version, try to cut it down to the essentials. Editors appreciate writing that is straightforward, clear, and easy to understand. Taking control of your own editing process is key to making your writing polished and impactful. Keep hacking away, changing your manuscript from an overgrown jungle to a finely pruned garden.
